An evening with the Mother of the Year

I had quite the amazing opportunity this week! I attended a small Relief Society meeting where the invited guests were the 2013 and 2011 National Mothers of the Year as well as the 2013 Utah Young Mother of the Year. Crazy right? The 2013 National Mother of the Year is a woman in my ward. At first I poked fun at the title, thinking "how do you choose the mother of the year?" It seemed so far fetched. But I went to the meeting anyway, with pen and paper in tow, knowing I could use any counsel I could get. It was incredible. I love those meetings where you leave feeling motivated, encouraged, and just inspired to be better. It was great. So I wanted to share a few of my notes for my memory's sake. And if you're in need of a little pick-me-up; help yourself.

(Top: Judy Cook - 2013 National Mother of the Year

Bottom: Sally Olsen - 2011 National Mother of the Year)

Thoughts on Motherhood: (we talked about a lot of things, I've just tried to summarize a few)

10 Lessons to Motherhood:

(1) Loose yourself. This was a great little bit. She explained about how she did loose a bit of herself in giving everything to her kids, but the woman she found she liked a lot better.

(2) Learn to Eat Humble Pie: Every mom knows you can never say never, because as soon as you do, whatever it is you said would never happen - does. They are still in diapers at 3 and they poop in the corner. You take them out of church and sit in the foyer while they scream. You are late to church, because of the kids.

(3) It is not a competition, it's a commitment: It's not about who bakes the best cupcakes, or who goes to the gym the most, or who has the best Mommy School. Save your energy for your family.

(4) I don't own my children: yes I had them, and I am raising them. But they are their own identities. I can't force them to become what I want. Allow them room to grow.

(5) It's about progress, not perfection. Continue to refine, hone, improve, and work on your skills as a mother.

(6) It's better to laugh than cry. (or scream). Motherhood has got to be the world's most aggravating and frustrating jobs at times. The relentless nature of the work can drive a person to tears. Laugh instead. 

(7) Today is not forever. She had a cute quip here. Remember-it came to pass, not it came to stay. 

(8) The best things in life really are free. So many good examples I could fill in here with my own little buddy.

(9) Families make messes. Just go with it. Sally talked about having a closet specifically to just throw things in so the house looked clean and she could think. 

(10) Every cliche about motherhood is true: The joy is in the journey. You’ll never do anything so hard and yet so gratifying. The greatest work any of us will ever do will be within the walls of our homes. They grow so fast. Enjoy every moment before the moment is gone. 

-- Discouragement is a tool of the devil. Choose not to be discouraged in your abilities or performance. Ask yourself as many times as you need to: "am I doing (or have I done) my best?

-- Let something else go so you can be your best self for the kids. Sometimes life can be too overwhelming. You need to be wiling to let something go so you can be more present.

-- Read the talk "To the Mothers in Zion" by President Ezra T. Benson.

-- When you love doing something; anything, if you love it - it is successful. If you love your job as a mom, really truly love it, then it makes the tasks so much better.

-- Service helps a lot. Teach your kids to have a servants heart. Soup Kitchens, Ward services, within the home. 

-- Follow through in everything you say.

-- Ezra Taft Benson gave the answer to how to give your child self esteem. He said (paraphrased) If we love god, keep his commandments, and fear His judgements more than man, we will have self esteem.

-- While your children are in your home, make them the highest priority.

-- Family Gospel Study is so important. Sally bore testimony multiple times of the importance of this for her family. She would have family study time on Sunday. Starting small, then as the children grew, spending more hours in gospel study. Separate from FHE, daily devotions, family scripture study! Fight to keep your meeting for church either early in the morning or late at night (or not on the Sabbath) to make sure the whole family is together on Sunday. This particular bit of advise really struck my heart. How to go about implementing it in my family is still a mystery, but I will be praying for some support and trying to give it my best effort.

-- Read President Hinckley's talk "To the Women of the Church"

-- The underlying theme to the entire evening was to use the Lord as you raise your children. The Church has a plethora of materials that will aid in this great role. Look up all the quotes that the Prophets and apostles have ever said about the nobility and role of women. It will strengthen your resolve to live to your great calling and responsibility in life.

Footnote: Judy is mom to 8 kids. Sally is mom to 12 kids. And the 3rd lady is mom to 8 ages 3-16.