The Game of Real Life

Dear Diary:

Hi. I'm a boy named Bosephis. I was born into a middle class family and my parents are fond of me. I'm cute as a button so the jealous neighborhood kids tried to hang me. Bummer. Since that didn't work, I was caught in a drive by shooting. In my misery I started drinking and found that it was quite an affordable escape. I then met a guy named Frank who introduced me to weed. Tried that for a while until it wasn't enough. Then I was addicted to Heroin. That almost killed me. In the hospital I was given some "extra time" which added to my health. Bless those souls.

Decided to get my life in order so I became a Fast Food Specialist. This added to my quality of life. I got more involved in the community and saved a polluted lake. Things were looking up. I met my sugar-mamma in the express line at work one day. She comes from a wealthy family adding $1000 to my bank account. (currently standing at $1). My shoes wear thin, she buys me new ones. I don't even have to consider stealing them. We still don't have kids so we spend most our evenings alone. The Fast Food Industry still only pays me $1 per payday. I don't seem to mind. We finally decide to have sex. That changes my world and adds highly to my quality of life. Got more "extra time" to my health. Got Sick and watched too much TV which fried my brain. That sucked.

I was arrested unjustly but luckily my sugar-momma hired a lawyer and got me out. I wasn't feeling much like work, as you can imagine so I called in sick. Then the stock market crashed and we lost all our money. Crud. A truck tried to hit me but I have a lot of health points so I escaped death. Alas, a crystal umbrellas hit me and that took some away. bummer. Then the DEA stormed our house thinking we had drugs. Although it was a mistake, it about gave me a heart attack. They found my file from those old drug days. I blame Frank for that. We got $500 in a lawsuit but our marriage was suffering. I fasted for a day to no avail. My sugar-momma kicked me out being all upset about my past drug days and now I'm homeless and have lost all my money.

Love kicks my butt which hurts my Health. Alas, the spring finally hits and the halter tops begin coming out again; this improves my quality of life. I got sick with what the doctors call Oniomania (the urge to buy everything). Too bad I have $0. Finally pass another payday for a whole $1. My siblings keep having kids and being an uncle improves my quality of life. I begin to improve my selective hearing, and find some prescriptions for this "ailment" from a guy on the corner. The drugs are great but they make me Incompetent. I wandered off into a winter wonderland which made me happier but ultimately killed me. THE END. Final score: I was a fairly healthy Divorced man addicted to prescription drugs which ultimately made me go crazy and wander off into the cold. $1, 28 Quality of life points.

Remember that "Game of Real Life" my kids brought to school the other day. Today I played. It was so funny! I lived the longest and had quite the ups and downs. Funny game.